


Bless Your Heart

by page_not_found



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Comedy, Gen, M/M, Priest AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:20:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28511802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/page_not_found/pseuds/page_not_found
Summary: Chrollo woke up one day after a long night of thinking and went, "What if I opened a church just for the hell of it?" and unfortunately for Hisoka, decided to drag him into it. The two of them partner together to achieve Chrollo's dream (read: hobby) to give back in the only way he could think of.After all, God worked in mysterious ways, right? Though Silva Zoldyck would beg to differ upon seeing just who exactly had taken residence across the street from his church.....This wasn't going to end well, was it?[Priest Hisoka AU]
Relationships: Hisoka/Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Bless Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Tags will be updated as the story progresses, so look out for that. Chapters sometimes aren't linear, so they may jump forward from time to time.

Normally, the sightings of a certain redhead at a church would be a sign of the end times to those who knew him, but to one Chrollo Lucilfer it put a smile on his otherwise blank face.

That of course being before Hisoka's sunken in face and heavily shadowed eye bags scared away some of their regular churchgoers whenever he hadn't slept or gotten his usual morning tea, which happened more often than not.

"Father, maybe you should sit down for a bit in your office before additional service, hm? I can handle the rest." Chrollo put on his best polite tone as he looked up into the unamused face of Hisoka Morow, his partner in this welcomed fiasco.

A long blink and shuddered breath was the brunette's answer, which was as good as it was going to get when Hisoka was like this. 

Due to how early church services started sometimes, an insomniac like Hisoka got very little sleep. Chrollo loved to get an early start, to his dismay. 

He hadn't even had time to style his hair when the shorter man was dragging him out the door towards his car as they were on a "tight" schedule. 

Yeah, the schedule wouldn't be the only thing that was tight if Hisoka didn't get any fucking sleep. 

Finally, after a moment of silence, the magician turned priest sat down on a nearby pew and lazily waved Chrollo away, ignoring the fact that he knew the other priest didn't like being dismissed like that. 

"I'll stay here for a bit while you welcome the early people, dear." Hisoka rubbed his eyes, he hadn't even put on underwear because Chrollo had been bitching at him to hurry up and it was rather drafty, "Go do….whatever priests do."

Dark eyes narrowed with promises of some form of punishment later, not caring that Hisoka would probably enjoy it. 

On the list of things Chrollo was unafraid of punching, priests and people who wore glasses were quite close to each other. 

_Hisoka wearing glasses as a fashion statement counted, right?_

He merely rolled his eyes and walked away, quickly fashioning his face into a polite welcoming smile that hopefully enticed people to come to their opening service lest he start having to seduce people.

Chrollo wasn't religious himself, but for once he prayed that Hisoka wouldn't do anything he wouldn't do to anyone who happened to annoy him. The older man wasn't much of a people person.

Unfortunately for him, a person had indeed wandered in and coincidentally made a beeline for the pew they saw first.

It was about 1 am and the church doors happened to be open for some reason. A weary follower of the lord took that as a sign to walk in and rest for a moment, praying as well.

The approach to the pews was a quiet one, but the person settled into a row behind the first one, hoping to not make too much noise despite the humming of the air conditioner warming the quaint cathedral. 

As early as it may be, seeking solace came at any hour. They had already seen a very nice, yet strangely handsome priest greeting people outside almost like one would see at a local grocery store during the winter times. 

Hopefully that poor father kept warm with his thermal headband and leather gloves. 

It was terribly cold outside, so the troubled patron took time to get warm, lightly bouncing their knee in time with the nice classical that was playing on low throughout the cathedral. 

Because of the music, they missed the sound of breathing on the bench in front of them. The steady rising and fall of a clothed chest went unnoticed and for the moment, Hisoka rested without interruption. 

Hisoka was terribly sensitive to sound, though it depended sometimes.

At first the praying didn't wake him up.

Yet it continued to get louder and his eyes snapped open, bloodshot. He popped up from the pew like something out of Thriller, turning around to find whoever was making noise.

He glared at the person with an accusing stare, who actually had stopped praying and was noisily slurping whatever was in their thermos, hence the squinting from Hisoka's drooping eyes. 

The person wanted to scream but stifled it to avoid it echoing as they were a bit terrified at seeing this random muscular guy with face paint sleeping on a pew in a church. 

Buildings such as these were supposed to soothe weary souls but….how was a person supposed to know someone was sleeping on the bench in front?

Now getting a closer look at the person, Hisoka sniffed the air and his stare turned eager. 

The person attempted to back up, but there was very little room and they didn't want to appear rude to who was apparently a priest according to the outfit the man was wearing.

Whoever this man was, by the almighty he needed some sleep.

".....Can I help you?"

The priest opened his mouth to ask for one thing only.

"Do you have coffee?"

Huh, that's not what they were expecting based on the look on their face.

Hisoka had to hold in his sigh, why did he have to be stuck with the incompetent people?

"Excuse me?" Confusion was evident, but lessened to some existent as a slender finger pointed at the large thermos in the churchgoer's lap.

"Tea, or some sort of caffeine?"

He hadn't even given his name and yet this strange man was asking someone for caffeine in the middle of a church service. 

It was better than going to the Zoldyck cathedral across the street, but that didn't mean much. 

Out of fear, the patron shook their head and said no to the question of caffeine, to which Hisoka's eye twitched and he snatched the thermos out of their hands. 

The redhead drank some before handing it back, before handing it back, scowling, "That wasn't caffeine but it will do."

An odd silence fell between the two, the priest not even looking in the direction of the person who's cup he just snatched. He ignored them trying to subtly wipe the rim of the cum where he just drank from with the sleeve of their coat in favor of seeing a bobbing fluff ball headed their way. 

Chrollo had come in for a moment to get something, only to turn and see Hisoka actually having a conversation with a person.

Being who he was, Chrollo couldn't help but wander over in their direction to assess the situation, wondering why the person had a semi disturbed look on their face. He hoped Hisoka didn't accost the patron. 

Chrollo still had that tasteless headband on even though it was notably warmer inside than out. 

"Wow, It's really cold out there! I'm glad you came in to find comfort, our doors are open for all who need them." That smile the priest just gave could light a city block, but it was soon destined to fade. 

Before they could answer, Hisoka had already opened his mouth.

_"I didn't know that the devil even got cold."_

His quiet, kitten like slurps of his stolen hot chocolate did not allow the church to fall into awkward silence once more. 

Poor churchgoer, they're so confused at this strange priest who snatched their hot chocolate. On top of that, they'd never seen a priest glare daggers at someone before.

Chrollo tensed up for a moment before relaxing, laying a light hand on Hisoka's shoulder as he turned to smile at their first patron of the morning who was wondering if they should have just stayed at home for the night.

  
"It was nice meeting you, but if you'll excuse us, Father Hisoka has to prepare for the later services." The patron barely waved a hesitant goodbye before Chrollo was tugging Hisoka upwards and dragging him down a hallway, presumably towards a back office.

  
"Would it kill you to not act so much like yourself sometimes, Hisoka?" Chrollo scowled, ready to throttle the redhead and it hadn't even been two hours since they'd opened. 

"Honey, if you wanted a different priest you should have just left me in bed where you found me." 

The rising of the brunette's voice vs Hisoka's subtle velvet carried the now comforted soul out of the church and back onto the street as they walked home.

As an idle thought, the person wondered just who those two men were and where the hell this random cathedral came from, as if it were built overnight.

Perhaps searching the depths of Yelp could provide some insight into the new church looming on the horizon. 


End file.
